Welcome to my side of the world..

~ I looked up to see the thing from my dream,

but all I could see was a sky filled with stars... ~

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på sig själv är
mycket
beroende-
framkallande.
Sök hjälp.
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Here is where I live :)  

Here is where Ive been as far I remember.. not much.. but yet a few places..
A few "dots" are still missing.. Ill add them asap...

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- The truth... is to be found everywhere !!-

---------
”Not to do any evil,
To cultivate good,
To purify one’s mind-
This is the advice of the Buddhas.”
-- the Dhammapada (183)

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&
If you wonder who am I ??
I might ask you..

how
many
lifetimes
do you
have
”spare”
?
?


Born in Kalmar..
Mooved to Växjö in youth...
Sneaked back to the sea in my teens..and ever since.. ive been on my wayhavent found "home" yet..

Here is where I´ve lived, shortly or somewhat longer..

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& Then I started to travel around in Europe...


* France (gone there a few times... must be tha Lavendar, not the wine.. prefer Italian!)
* Italy (ever returning.. Loadsa reasons & good friends.. Mountains...Take a pick..)
* Germany (a few good friends, I did work there too..)
* UK (almost mooved there permanent.. Looong story...friends..)
* Nederlands (Dutch.. a few very good friends...)
* Belgium ( chocolate!!! !! & my ancestors...one side)
* Austria (those powerful.. mighty mountains...)
* Swiss (those beautiful mountains...& chocolate then..and a monk friend :))

 
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~
Love
and respect
Should it be
so
damn
hard?
~

this very moment..

I am becoming aware that I just passed some of the life lessons I got.. I tend to give everything of myself to others Without hesitation..This had to stop - I must share, not give everything of my energies away. I learnt to say no, take crititism in a better way and not fade away. This I discovered was due to low selfesteem..I am born as many others so called dandellion, suburb flower.. though I do not like the comparision I understand it. as a child, I walked on my own on ways noone understood always helping and always collecting stones.

as teenager I got more into "dreamstate" of mind.. often black/white.. where I got confused as in "awake state" the black was soft and caring and white sharp, in my dreamstate it was complete oposite! the black was sharp as a knife and the white so soft and comforting.. I know this have a significant value in my life - I do not hoover over its facts , just accnowledging its source.. good and bad.

The growth contained many mind escapes.. I easily traveled into other dimensions, some not so good as I was not ready to face them and got taken back by what I call my guardians. I shosed the life that was not an easy one, the many lessons Ive had so far is rare, now and then Ive had alien feelings.. that I do not belong here, but I cant put my finger on how and why. my family around who raised me was not my parents but grandparents.. were christians with a leaning to buddhism as my grandfather was into this path - he taught me without words of this.

sometime ate the age 20 I closed myself and had a child, this led me to understand i entered some circle , one which I intended to brake. the circles that had been going on in the family of mine stopped ith me. there is no abandoned small children now, no abuse and violence is silent. awareness of those patterns came then.. the time I had to contribute my will and power to end this came shortly after.

at age 30 I started to meditate as a way to relaxation, it became clear to me that I had been meditating all my life but didnt knew - they called it "daydreaming and hopeless to talk with" ;)I joined a meditationgroup that created a huge change in meself and the way I understood life around me, compassion and awareness.. to help.. to not harm.. some years ago during a meditation I realised that we all are healing the earth during our meditations (as we connect to earth and ground and then to universe to free the flow of power.) I am sertan that when we meditate it is healing.Several times I came to talk with people in different places and different ways to find out in the end they have similar problems - to get grounded. some more evere then others.. as this have been repeted through many years I figured I had a task to do.. and tried as good I could so far to help with these issues..

I also came to understand I answered questions just as a thought came up in others mind.. this is a bit uncomfortable for some people as they dont know how to handle this I understood.. and having this in mind - I try to not talk without thinking in order to brake the information a bit..I know I am extremely sensitive to other peoples energies and try my best to protect and activate my bubble of protection.. sometimes cross my arms in a simple way.. During a massage course the others sometimes complained that my hands burnt them.. and afterwards it showed they had some damage in the area I was working with.. muscular or "bodily pain" (this I found was blocked experiences placed in the bodymind - but of this the course refused to work further.)I am exploring my body to understand the pains and where it comes from , as I get the feeling it is all about memories.

now, at the age of 41 I realise I came a logn way.. I can look back and see how much I accomplished in my work both with self and others.. and I still know I have a long way still ;)the question to write and essay about me and some things made me start write, to start hesitate in middle - is this relevant? erase and restart some parts..the question is for me to understand - where am I right now? Where have I been? and what do I understand so far?I guess I have loads yet I cant remember atm but this will be for now..

The meditation I am working on is walking down a sellar to enter those reooms I never open the doors to.. I will clean up in those rooms and note whats in there.. its a dark and narrowed stariway down, but one I must tidy up.. for this I am ready and have prepared.. you see, I have some memoryloss from youth due to difficult family issues, so to forgive whatevers happened and work from there.)

oh.. I am still collecting stones 40 years later.. they protect and I love them :) *hehe*

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”Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion
for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers
both the natural & spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the
experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity”
---- Albert Einstein


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DHARMA THE CAT’S FOUR TRUTHS:
1. Impermanence: In life, the only constant factor is change.
2. Reciprocity: Whatever qualities you perceive in other people you draw out in them.
3. Self-Description: Peoples judgements and criticisms of others (as distinct from detached observations) are self-descriptive.
4. Accusation: Accusers are guilty.

BODHI THE MONK’S FOUR TRUTHS:
1. Non-directing: Life comes at you from all directions.
2. Non-ceasing: Life comes at you at all times.
3. Non-impeding: Life comes at you even if you see it coming.
4. Non-judging: Life is less impressed and less disappointed with you than you are with yourself.

SIAM THE MOUSE’S FOUR TRUTHS:
1. Non-singularity: There is more than one way to approach any block of cheese.
2. Non-Conflict: When those around you fall into conflict, grab the cheese.
3. The Uncertainty Principle: When uncertain what to do or say, be very still and quiet.
4. Open Door Policy: When a doorway opens, go through it.


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Once, I knew you.
Once, I followed.
Once, I was strong.
Once, I smiled.
Once, I felt grief.
Once, I forgot the reasons for the battle.
Once, I met honesty

... I cried



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~only as one find the self, thee can love with a free heart...~



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[at the darkest hour we may find the truth of our heart’s...]

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Im currently working with thiese pages atm...

Come back now and then to see how Im doing..